I went to bed drunk and happy last night, and I'm going to bed sober, frustrated and lonely tonight. What I bummer, I was so hopeful starting the evening. It's fine and the feelings will fade in a couple of days, but I feel thwarted and a little mad. Nothing that I'm not able to get over, but it's frustrating in the present, and kind of degrades my self confidence.
The party we threw tonight was pretty fun, and very successful - we had a lot of people from the department, and nothing got out of hand. Well, except for the noise complaint, but that was okay. Lot of people took that as a sign to go home, and the rest of us relocated to another apartment. It was nice, we wore fancy clothing and had a lot of sugar, and we really like the people in the department.
I guess I feel a little alienated and uncool. I dislike this very much, and it tends to add to my social anxiety; I think I'm a neat person most of the time, but in parties I feel completely the opposite: annoying, unfunny, unattractive. I would like to change this very much, but emotions have a way of hijacking my brain and taking over. Boooo.
I'm tired, I'll think about this and expand on it later.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment